I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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