I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
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i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
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The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize