new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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