she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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