i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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