He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
