Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize