i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
