The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize