this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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