So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
