I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
