Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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