"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize