And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize