Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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