on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
