you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
