if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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