chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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