So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Your cock deserves a montage
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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