Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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