I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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