Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
