I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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