He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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