I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
