ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
