My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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