I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
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I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
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still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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