found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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