Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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