I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
