3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
