It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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