Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
