one two three fourrrrnication!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
