Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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