bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
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I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
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My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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