none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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