i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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