The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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