i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
