Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
