I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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