I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize