after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
