I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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