Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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