so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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