He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
