butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
