He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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