dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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