marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
