On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
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