You can't motorboat a personality
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
