Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
