Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
