somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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