nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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