I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
