Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
