fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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