Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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